Your mercy remains

I shifted from my previous livejournal.
I think I've been a very bad testimony and I really want to stop writing my religious views in my livejournal.
It has been such a bad day today. Actually, the days haven't been easy for me since after the Common Tests.
As always, I got really mediocre results. Okay, worst than mediocre since 'mediocre' kind of means average.
But this time round, it really struck me hard.
I really am disgracing God.
I am such a bad testimony.
I was so guilty and I really can't stop crying.
My bad results, my incompetence is reflecting so badly on God. And everybody is blaming it on my God.
God, I really feel so bad.
My purpose is to bring people closer to You.
And I'm doing the opposite.
Lord, I rather you break my heart into a thousand pieces than let Your heart break even more.
I really can't express how guilty I am.
So many things are happening, and I am so unwise in handling them and now you're taking the blame.
Lord, please please bring them back to you and punish me instead.

A thousand times I've failed still Your mercy remains
Should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
My heart and my soul, I give You control
Consume me from the inside out, Lord
Let justice and praise, become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise from the inside out of my soul
Cries out