Heart and mind

God does not bypass the understanding of the mind.
Please let the conviction in your heart be aligned with your mind and actions.

Working for Him

Haha I love my family a lot!
Tho me mom nags me quite a fair bit.
We went to City Square for breakfast in the morning. We spent like 30 bucks!
I think my dad is really funny. He wore his sport shoes and when he went up the travelator, he was like "Eh next time can come here to exercise. Like a treadmill ma!"
We were like -.-
But it was funny.
***
I'm really pumped for the lifegroup!
We're not going to be called caregroup anymore.
I can really see God using me to bring the lifegroup higher and deeper into our relationships with Him and each other.
We'll be having a picnic lifegroup soon, which I'm like damn excited about!
Hahaha I'm praying hard that God will bless us with more contacts.
I really want Him to use EastB2b to bring love and compassion that the rest of the world can't give to our school!
I am really thankful to God for giving us person after person; we must be doing something right after all. :)
It's really amazing how people want to join us and I believe that it's really God's blessing for His faithful servants!
Its true - the harvest is bountiful yet the workers are few.
We need to have more people having the heart to want to work their ass off for God!

The Call

My mother needs God.
I am an imperfect child, my brother too, yet somehow she can never understand that.
In fact, everything, everything, seems to have the power to tick her off.
And she claims that nothing makes her happy.
I think that its because she has never looked for happiness in the places she least expect it. Or the places whereby she refuse to even acknowledge even its existence.
I often ask God when will be the day that I can see her come to know Him. It seems far away, but I really don't want to give up.
In my heart, I know someday, it will happen. Someday. :)

&
Oh Saturday's sermon was timely for me.
Especially in the area of staying true and returning to God's call for me.
Which I kind of caught a glimpse of (the call, that is) the previous week while I was praying at the EBC Challenge.
It was kind of frightening to actually even get that kind of calling, but I'm really psyched for it!
Told Fiona about it, and she went to tell Jacq! Ahh I was so embarrassed. Haha no la.
I definitely want to bring my caregroup to a higher level in terms of spirituality, and also closer together as a caregroup.
I know that I have to grow in order for the girls to grow, so GOD HELP ME! :D
Also, I believe that any area that I need to step up is in ministry.
Argh gosh I've been so unfaithful in that area and I need God to smack me in the face.
Ha no seriously. But I feel that sharing testimony on stage not only humbled me, but also made me more convicted to not only do like, lip service, but serve God with my giftings 100% with my actions!
So I think God knows me the best, that when I get like a role, I will try harder in serving.
So thank God for giving me the chance to be the Soprano's new networker! Haha.
I totally wanna serve God 100% in choir now. I know Cherv is in this with me!

I'm so excited for holidays! ( minus re-exam of course, but Fiona is watching me)
Word for life, Fridays with Granny + Funky Day!, Ministry Awareness Drive, CAMP, Christmas!, East Christmas Dinner =
MORE TIME WITH GOD AND HIS PEOPLE!

Have I really loved?

As I was spending time with God today, I randomly stumbled upon 1 Corinthians 13 again. It struck me really hard. Is what I call love, love?

5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

The truth is this: as much as I often say that I love someone, my actions have proven my love wrong.
If the Lord searches my heart again and again, perhaps by his definition of love he would not have acknowledged me as a loving person. And I know that, I must change.

As I continue to walk this journey of life, I must keep in mind what love really is, and abide by what is a true definition of love. And I know He will help me with it.

Awesome-ness

Should be studying, but found my eyes looking at these instead of my notes. My heart cries out. I NEED THESE!

I wouldn't trade you for silver or gold

I wanna thank God for helping me overcome!
Can't say I've fully overcome, but more or less I'm there. (:
I so totally can't wait to continue my walk, closer and deeper with the Lord.
I don't know how to describe, but every single day I'm falling more and more in love with Him.
My heart really overflows with love, thanksgiving and gratitude; its indescribable.
我爱God-万年！

+++

Yesterday was Jacq's birthday party at Europe Room.
Happy Birthday, Jacq!(don't think she'll see this, but still feel like saying!)
Sang "I'll Be There" and "The Birthday Song" for her. Enjoyed it, but nonetheless, it was scaryyy.
Had a good time of fellowship with Jacq, Fiona, Yingjie, Meng and Cher later on at night.
Haha wasn't as scary as I thought and I think they're really funny.
Hahahahaha now I know what face gesture to do to Fiona LOLLL
Anyway, it was a good day yesterday.
Hopefully it'll be a good day tmr.
Speaking of tomorrow, will school remain as the only thing I can't overcome???
Oh dearie me, I really can't believe today's the last day of holiday.

Alone

I need solitude.
Sounds drama-ish, but I need it.
(I'm holding on, cos' I know if I give up now, I've lost)


EDIT @ 19:23/
I keep thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking.
Under Satan's attack.
Remember remember remember.
If you don't have confidence in yourself, at least have confidence in Him.
It's alright even if only He sees what you've done...
cos' you're only doing everything you're doing to please Him.

Lens of faith

God encouraged me like no other person can through His word yesterday.
I am amazed at how His timing is so perfect, and how He can use me to encourage another person as well.
Hebrews 12 is a chapter called God disciplines His sons.
Through that chapter, God revealed to me how it is to be disciplined by Him. Or rather, how to go through this period of time whereby I will be disciplined by Him.
Firstly, I must remember the opposition Jesus faced.
As compared to what Jesus went through, everything that I'm going through now really seems trivial and pale in comparison.
I must remember this, and fix my eyes on Jesus, and not the problems.
And then, I know I'll be less weary and not lose heart in advancing His kingdom.
Secondly, I must recognize that God is putting me under His training,the training to be more mentally disciplined in doing His will.
He is training me to be a woman of perseverance and faith.
By that alone, we can do what we think we can't.
Whatever I may be facing now may be painful, harsh, strict...yet since when is God's training for us pleasant?
With reference to James 1:2-4 then, I must delight in these trials, for the Lord is putting these trials to discipline me in perseverance and faith , for He is disciplining me because I am His child and He loves me.
If I stand firm in unwavering faith and perseverance, praying with a sincere heart, will the Lord short-change me? Can He possibly pass me by?
What I know for sure is that by faith, the Lord will produce a harvest of righteousness and peace in me (Hebrews 12:11). And that, is worth my perseverance. The Lord's love is worth my faith in Him.
That will be my prayer for today.
Lord, make me a woman with utmost faith in You. Help me delight in Your discipline and trials.

(On a sidenote, I think I need to adopt a bit of apathy towards certain things, instead, find my confidence in the Lord himself.)

This life is Yours

The sermon yesterday spoke to me greatly.
I've been struggling with quite a few problems lately, thinking far beyond what I should be thinking.
I am not proud of those thoughts that have crossed my mind.
The problem with me is sometimes I think that I'm good, which stems from the fact that deep inside me, I know that I'm far from good.
Ironic isn't it?
I can't say that I've overcome this insecurity completely, but I daresay that the Lord is taking it bit by bit everyday, and He will continue to help me become a girl far more secure in Him than she ever did.
Friday's prayer meet was short for Jess and I, because we had to rush off on a blinkin' cab(the fare was $14) to watch The Spirits Play at NAFA. No doubt the play was awesome, but I'd rather be at the meet praying for the people in my caregroup...
Nevertheless, I was glad that I went for the prayer meet instead of like, Centrestage. Thank you EastBC and Dennis for praying for me; through them, I really felt God's assurance.
Then came Saturday, which was undeniably the best day of the week.
Sermon boosted my confidence a little in leading this young caregroup.
I may not be the best at communicating with people, or establishing a connection/understanding with them...but I know that I have the heart for people.
With this, coupled with God's power in me, what can I possibly be scared of?
But I still want to love. More and more.
How to have genuine concern for my community?
After much thought, I came to my conclusion. Love.
Love people with God's love, with God's grace, without any conditions.
He loved me despite everything that I've done; how can I reciprocate other than love Him and love His people more?

1 Corinthians 13:13
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

What I seek from the Lord today.
To love more.

Jesus take me in your hand

No eye has seen
No ear has heard
The good that the Lord has prepared
for those Who wait on Him
To hear His voice
You are the Potter and I am the clay

So Jesus, take me in Your hand
And make me all that You want me to be
Jesus, help me understand
My purpose and what You can do through me
Fulfilling my destiny

Come on world, throw another battle in my life

I'm now studying for my Math retest tomorrow.
Gosh, I'm really nervous. It seems as if I'm ready, but I really don't know.
I don't wanna fail and retake the test another time.
(+) I've got a dozen other things I need to do, like the Econs essay and the stupid 艺林essay thing. And my EoM! Argh which is damn overdue.
I just feel like sleeping now la. Zzz.
Hmm, I thought today was a pretty ok day.
At least I studied math at LJS.
I'm really thankful that God put like, different people in my life to encourage me.
When I'm feeling upset or discouraged, there's always someone there to give me a pat on the back!
Truly wanna thank God for that.
I'm so glad tomorrow's Friday!!!
Saturday is Rendition ESS and I can't wait! Hahahahaha.
God, I really pray that the harvest that is to come will not only be in quantity, but also in quality! We must be ready before you can send in the harvest, so I also pray that you prepare our hearts, our minds and our mouths(lol) to be sensitive to your voice and Lord, may you use us to speak to your people!
:D
Better be off to finish my EoM. Hai, I'm kinda screwed.

Your mercy remains

I shifted from my previous livejournal.
I think I've been a very bad testimony and I really want to stop writing my religious views in my livejournal.
It has been such a bad day today. Actually, the days haven't been easy for me since after the Common Tests.
As always, I got really mediocre results. Okay, worst than mediocre since 'mediocre' kind of means average.
But this time round, it really struck me hard.
I really am disgracing God.
I am such a bad testimony.
I was so guilty and I really can't stop crying.
My bad results, my incompetence is reflecting so badly on God. And everybody is blaming it on my God.
God, I really feel so bad.
My purpose is to bring people closer to You.
And I'm doing the opposite.
Lord, I rather you break my heart into a thousand pieces than let Your heart break even more.
I really can't express how guilty I am.
So many things are happening, and I am so unwise in handling them and now you're taking the blame.
Lord, please please bring them back to you and punish me instead.

A thousand times I've failed still Your mercy remains
Should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
My heart and my soul, I give You control
Consume me from the inside out, Lord
Let justice and praise, become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise from the inside out of my soul
Cries out